12.15.2005

shelf life

"His thoughts said, I wonder why these special tools are used?
His Father said, "The house, when it was in building, was built of stone made ready before it was brought thither; so that there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house while it was in building.
If thou knewest the disappointment it is to the builders when the stone cannot be used for the house because it was not made ready before it was brought thither, if thou knewest My purpose for thee, thou wouldest welcome any tool if only it prepared thee quietly and perfectly to fit into thy place in the house." -Amy Carmichael

Lately I have felt shelved. You know like I am on the shelf. Don't get me wrong, I like my shelf spot (home with my baby girl) but I also want so badly to be used for God's kingdom. I won't pretend to assume I should be used or that I am in a place to be used but I really want to b. I want Zoe to grow up seeing her mom and dad contributing and living for the Kingdom of God here on earth! I want to leave her a legacy worth something in heavenly currency. But right now I am on the shelf. Of my own choosing? Of my own doing?

Then comes encouragement like it always does. It comes in the form of written words, penned years and years ago by one of my favorites Amy Carmichael. These little nuggets of encouragement always come in unexpected ways and places and they always seem to speak directly to my need. I am thankful for these nuggets for they remind me of the closeness of our God. He is near. He is involved. He knows our situation and He cares about how we are. He doesn't forget us and He doesn't ever abandon us. For this I am grateful.

So now as I type from my shelf I find that there is a song to be sung and a smile to wear even in the midst of obscurity. He continues to work on me and, like Amy's nugget conveyed to me, I will be grateful for any tool that He might use to truly fit me for His use.

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