Have you ever just been sitting somewhere and realize you were living your dream...that has been happening to me a lot lately. It happens the most when I am having my quiet time; PBS Kids in the background with the occasional visit from Zoe pulling up on the couch where I sit. I think about all of the prayers that I prayed for this...to be a wife and a mother. Here I am, living my dream. Is it easy? Never. To quote a really bad movie that I won't name: "there is no easy in adult world." Is that the truth or what! We have all heard it said that anything that is really worth anything is HARD. Well that is true...definitely true. I used to buck this truth. I wanted everything to come easy and like a little toddler would sometimes secretly throw tantrums with God.
I am glad that I am living this lesson right now. I am glad that I have stopped bucking it and started embracing difficulty instead. I feel alive because of it. I am forcing myself out of the comfort zone I felt I could never venture out of. I am really working on doing some things that make me nervous and I am FINALLY saying no to that self that still tries to get the best of me. Man, am I grateful. I know that until I see Jesus I will battle this die hard effort inside of me to play it safe but I am glad to be on the way.
On a different note...Jer and I saw The Davinci Code on Saturday. It has really challenged me to start reading and studying more about what I believe. It was interesting because years ago when I was in college that movie might have really rattled me but now, not at all. Jesus has covered too much ground in my life for me to doubt that He is Divine. How else would a self-diseased person like me ever begin to gain the victory! All the same, I feel I need to learn more. I know that there is evidence out there I just know enough to be dangerous! Again, hard things are always worth it so I will start studying!
Life here is good...hard, but good. I am glad to be on the narrow path. Lord knows I feel more alive the narrower it becomes.
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1 comment:
You truly need to post more often. :-)
You are definitely dead on with this post. Each day, I thank the Lord for the challenges that He has placed in my life. I know that I will be richer for them in His Kingdom.
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