Baggage...

Wednesday night was my first time at "Mrs. in Ministry," a group of women who are wives of seminary students that attend RTS. The reason that I went on this particular evening was because the guest speaker was a professor that Jeremy had whom he had especially enjoyed. Sharon Hersh is a counselor/professor/speaker out of Colorado who comes to our RTS campus and teaches one week crash courses. The class that Jer had taken with her was her addictions class and from the discussions we had over dinner every night that week, I could tell was awesome. All that to say, I was really excited to see that she would be the speaker and made plans to attend...
I had no clue what to expect other than knowing I would meet fellow RTS wives and hear Sharon give something like a talk...of course (so like God) her talk was EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
Sharon spoke on surrender...but not like you think. She spoke about baggage...but not like you usually hear baggage spoken about especially among Christians. It was inspiring to say the least, and yes, convicting. Her points were: 1. You need yourself; but not like you think 2. You need others; a lot more than you think 3. You need communion; much more often than we partake. (communion as in the Lord's Supper)
When speaking of our baggage, the baggage that we ALL have and carry, she used an interesting statement that she had heard during her alcohol addiction treatment: "the question is not whether or not we have baggage, but with what do we carry our baggage." Of course when she said this all of my years of "christianese" ran through my head. Thoughts like, uh oh this can't be right because of course we "leave our baggage at the cross" and surely if you are truly "spiritual" you have dropped that old baggage never to be picked up again! It's so good to have our "thoughts" challenged...and often! Anyway, I didn't tune her out I leaned in to listen harder...what did she mean "carry it?" And how was this "theologically correct" (can you just hear that lovely tint of PRIDE ringing through my reaction...O wretched man!) She listed the ways we carry our baggage...the baggage carriers of 1) Addictions -whether that be the dramatic addictions like alcohol or drugs or maybe just food, shopping, etc. Whatever that thing is that we engage in just "to take the edge off" 2) The Law or Legalism-this is the one that made tears creep down my cheeks...this is the one that carries baggage by keeping all of the "rules" and making sure everything is super in line and that only that which is presentable is shown 3) Self Effort-this is the one where people just "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" and carry it themselves "thank you very much!" and then 4) The RISEN Christ
She spoke of the different baggage we carry: shame, disfigurement, pain, giftedness, etc... The point she was making was not whether or not we have the baggage but HOW we CARRY IT! She wasn't saying that you don't address things or work through your "baggage" but what she was saying was that Jesus came to be our "baggage carrier!" Consider this "Come to me all you who labor and have a lot of bags and I will give you rest." Isn't that what He said! Also interesting was the point that it is not so much the crucifixion that we are clinging to here in this instance (we are doing that too) but we are clinging to and discovering the wonderful RISEN Christ. The one that has the power to heap our "bags" onto Himself and take us where we need to go.
Wow. There was so much more said. The thing that resonated with me the most is that thought of the Risen Christ...alive, powerful, living in me and reading and willing to carry all of my bags. I am meditating on this. I am not ashamed that I still have "baggage", that, you know, in reality, it's not all in order...and no I am not over it all...I am still on this journey towards the Healer but more importantly I am soaking in the stark reality that I CAN'T carry or order all of these bags, I can't "get it all straight" and perhaps THE most important part- I DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Risen One uses broken weak vessels...as it says in scripture "to confound the wise." Those that really think they get it...people like I have a tendency to be. Then God goes and uses the least of these...maybe someone who is not quite as polished spiritually or maybe even still trying to kick some "ungodly" habit. That is when our little tidy spirituality is rocked...and you know it is absolutely the way of GOD. He uses all of us in spite of ourselves, baggage and all.